More Middle School Gems

As the news leaks out, I get more insight into the mentality of my students. Below are just a few of the conversations I've had that stand out in my mind.

The first day of a new block, I always do an intro activity because we usually have a handful of new students. Kids partnered up, and I had them discover one thing they have in common, one thing they don't have in common, and one thing "under the iceberg" for each student. "Under the iceberg" is a term we use to get students to talk about things we can't tell about them just by looking. This can be as simple as a like or dislike ("My favorite color is green") to a life-changing childhood memory ("My father committed suicide when I was 5"). I've heard a wide range of answers. In one class, there was an odd number of students, so I paired up with one. I decided to reveal my secret during this activity. Some might say it's cheating, because I'm just starting to show, so perhaps this isn't really "under the iceberg" and certainly not for long. But once it was announced to class, I heard a wide range of responses.

"I heard that, but I didn't think it was true because you don't look pregnant."
"Do you know what you're having?"
"Are you excited?"
"Are you going to keep it?" This question was like the point in the movie where the needle scratches across a record and there was a moment of silence. The girl who asked the question looked around. "What?" she said.
Joe (not his real name), a large, football playing 8th grader looked at her. "What kind of question is that? That's like something you would ask a teenage girl!"
"Of course I'm going to keep it," was my response, as I wondered how many of her friends or family members had had to make that decision at a young age.

*****

In another class, with a similar activity, I was outed. Most kids had heard a buzz about my pregnancy, but few knew for sure and a few were completely surprised. One girl asked, without any sense of embarrassment or even hesitation, "Are you going to have an abortion?" Again, my instinct was to be shocked, first that such a question would come to her mind, second that she'd have the gall to ask it. But I was able to step out of myself and see the greater picture. These kids are not fortunate enough to grow up in a family that instilled my family values. And while I am pro-choice politically, I know I could never personally have an abortion. But at the age of 13, I also know I probably only had a vague notion of what the word meant, and I would never even think about it when someone was announcing that they were pregnant.

So, I answered calmly. "No. I'm not having an abortion. If I was, I certainly wouldn't be announcing it to everyone."

A young man in the front row changed the tone. He was looking behind me, at a display I had in my room about the scientific method. "You should name it Hypothesis."

I laughed, but considered briefly. "That's actually kind of cute." I told him and he gave me a proud smile. Not a bad recommendation to give the pregnant science teacher.

*****

Lily (not her real name) is a sweet girl. She suffers from anxiety, lives in a shelter with her mom, and has her share of issues, but she has a mature attitude and a quick smile. She is one of the few kids who became instantly popular without even trying. She sidled up to me at lunch a couple days ago. "So, are the rumors I've been hearing true?"

"What rumors?" I said, taking a bite of my sandwich.

"You know, the rumor about you?"

"Which one?"

"The big one." She was smiling at me- knowing I was playing with her.

"That I'm moving to Egypt. No, that's not true. I'm staying here. I don't even know how that one got started."

She slapped me playfully on the arm. "No, the big one. That you're prego."

I smiled at her. "Oh that one. Yeah...that one's true."

"That's so exciting!" she said.

I heard giggling behind me. I turned around to see another student within earshot of the conversation. This girl was quiet, nearly all the time. She was shy beyond the average range of shyness. Good natured, hard-working, but the SpEd liaison had informally diagnosed her with selective mutism- a condition usually caused by some sort of trauma in life. She'd come a long way at our school. She was making friends and was able to read aloud in class and answer occasionally questions. But still, she was reserved and quiet...most of the time. I looked at her and asked, "What's so funny?" I knew this news was new to her.

She put her hand up to her mouth as her face shook with laughter. "You're going to get fat!"

I felt indignant, but couldn't help but giggle. "No, I'm not," I said. "I'm going to get a belly, but I'm not going to get fat. There's a big difference between being pregnant and being fat." But she continued to giggle at me.