Boy or Girl?

I haven't written in over a year. I have thought about writing a lot, if that counts for anything. I have no real excuses except for a busy toddler, a move back to Colorado, setting up a home, 2 part-time jobs and many attempts to catch up with old friends and make new ones. So no real excuses but lots of reasons for my absence. Anyway, I'm back, with a new muse and a goal to write a substantial post at least once a week.

The muse is baby number 2, due June 8. Yes, this baby could also be born on June 1st. In fact, the doctor asked if I wanted to just schedule a c-section for a week before the due date. We're not going to--I'm leaving it up to chance--but it's still pretty coincidental, don't you think?

I'm almost to the halfway point (for normal term babies, not Aleida's timeline!), which means I have the exciting gender-telling ultrasound on Thursday. In 5 days I'll know what's cooking. Unlike some mothers who "just knew" or got some other sign about the sex of their spawn (what a great word...spawn...makes me think of cheesy alien movies), I am clueless. It could be an alien in there for all the instinct I have about it. The most asked question I get is, "Are you going to find out the sex?" My response is always, "Hell yes!" First of all, my aforementioned lack of instinct leaves me wondering. Secondly, while some people say they are waiting to be surprised, I figure it's a surprise no matter when you find out. And honestly, aren't there enough surprises inherent in giving birth? Thirdly, I want to bond with the idea of whatever I'm having, boy or girl.

Of course the follow-up question to the first one is, "Do you have a preference?" I think I can honesty say that I don't. If Aleida had been a boy, I think I would really want a girl. And sometimes, I get caught up on the idea of having one of each. We will probably stop at two, and I'm not one to keep trying til I produce one of each. A boy would be nice, just for the sake of having a son and knowing what he's like. Plus, there's something pleasing and symmetrical about a family with one of each. It makes for good family photos.

But then I think about how much I love having a sister. We talk about sex and menstruation and bodily functions. We go on sissy trips. We can hug and cuddle and it isn't weird. Maybe some brothers and sisters do that, but I just think there's a different level to the friendship that exists between siblings of the same gender. Plus, my daughter amazes and touches my heart. I am comfortable with her and can easily picture two little girls running around the house together. With another girl, I don't have to worry about circumcision or keeping the wiener clean or showing him how to aim into the potty or what I'll say the first time I catch him masturbating or how I'm going to feel when he starts prioritizing other women over me.

I know some women have strong preferences, and I'm thankful that I don't. My mother REALLY wanted me to be (and thought I was) a boy. I think she cried when I came out a girl. But look how totally awesome I am.

What it comes down to--and I know this will sound sappy--is that I will adore whatever child we create. Boy, girl, hermaphrodite...I will love it. I see benefits of both, and since I tend to see the good in situations, I will be easily convinced that whatever the ultrasound shows on Thursday is exactly what I wanted deep down inside.

Even still, I'm taking votes (or guesses). So far, I'm about 50/50, with maybe an extra vote or two for a girl. Dave, his mom, and myself have all had boy dreams. I don't think they are premonitions as much as our brains working over time. I'm not guessing it's a boy...I just had a dream. So, post your guess in comments. And thanks for reading.